I have been thinking all week about ideas for my next post and what direction my blog would go in…

In one of those moments, when I had stopped working my way down the weekend chore list, it popped into my mind and there it was… my inspiration for today’s post.

Some general banter about geography revision…my husband trying to recall geography study from 30 years ago..jokes about my bearing as I walked out of the door…!The laughter & joy in that moment, a reminder of how important it is to be present, regardless of work hours, chores lists & those everyday demands that are often self-imposed as we try to live up to the often exhausting standards that we set ourselves! Those small moments are special… priceless reminders of what matters in life.

The process of waiting for an idea to emerge & inspire me to write was in itself an insight- to wait for the moment when something pops up that you feel compelled to explore… in this instance, grabbing onto precious moments fully and being present, not distracted or half hearted but wholeheartedly embracing the moment.

So back to my teenager…life is never dull with a teenager in the house! Overnight, my beautiful baby boy seems to have transformed before my eyes into a lanky muscular young man, who has two stock responses when asked a question – grunt or shout…like a heat-seeking missile in his quest to find food when he gets home from school!  Of course it hasn’t happened overnight… but like life, it has a habit of creeping up on us & taking us by surprise…

It feels like he is growing up so fast, into this independent being, who thrives on a diet of rugby, basketball & pancakes – yes literally, pancakes are a stock item in the cupboard… no matter how many veggies & healthy foods I tried to force feed him as a baby, he just spat it out. He has got better over the years but still fussy!I have stopped the daily battle at the dinner table though and accepted it as it is-there’s a coaching lesson in there somewhere…!

His father & I undoubtedly lack a little ‘coolness’ in his eyes, as do most parents of teenage kids. As I write, I’m listening to one of my favourite albums, ‘Babel’ by Mumford & Sons and surprise, surprise when I go upstairs to see if the attraction of Facebook/Instagram is too appealing, compared to homework, that’s exactly what he’s listening to! Ha… so not quite so uncool then!

Today’s generation live in a world of Iphones, Ipads & Instagram, Spotify & Snapchat – all about instant gratification. No standing in queues on a Saturday morning to spend your hard earned pocket money on a CD or album for them, just click online and listen to the latest releases of who ever you wish instantly; you don’t even have to physically leave the house to connect to your mates, you can just facebook or text them…god forbid, you might actually phone them to talk… much better you just connect up on your PS4 & speak through your headphones online…!

A completely different world from the one many of us grew up in… I used to disappear across the fields for the whole day playing & roaming in with my friends. My Mum reckons she could always see where we were from her kitchen overlooking the fields but I never had a sense she was watching us &or we weren’t safe to wander freely. As a family, there was always time to sit over breakfast & dinner, talking of our day. We had homework & sports training too but looking back, life seemed less busy… I wonder if my Mum would say it was?? I’m pretty sure she looks at the pace in which we all live and thinks it is much busier now than it ever was. So what’s changed?

We seem to have so many commitments today – sports training, school sport, homework, together with the work commitments and long hours… for some of us, add onto that evening commitments with community clubs etc., the list goes on & on… Is it because we pack more in, we work longer hours, put more demands on ourselves? And amongst all of this, technology has advanced to enable us to be more flexible in our working lives… surely that should make it easier to create space in our day but instead we pack even more in. Find ourselves answering emails at 10.00pm at night when we could be relaxing…What examples are we modelling for our kids… particularly when we’re constantly telling them to get off their phones/laptops/PS4’s (well I know I am!)…

I would be naive if I thought we could strip technology back & not let it be such a force in their world – even Cam’s school books are virtual, not a single textbook in sight now in his High school so no grounding of technology for him when he oversteps the mark!

It would be so easy to get caught up in all the doing, instead of being… to miss those moments to connect & engage when our kids get back from school or we get home from work… to miss opportunities to coach our kids and be present when they need us ( as well as when they don’t!)…to just pause & spend a few minutes listening, really listening to what has happened in their world…

There was a report out earlier this week which talked about the decrease in social trust & empathy in Australian society –  how we are turning away from atrocities that go on in some parts of the world & don’t have the time or energy to put ourselves in others shoes…what a sad indictment of our times ! If we don’t give our children time, show them empathy & how to walk in others shoes, how can we expect to raise a generation of self -aware, empathetic and constructive people…

Wow, Parenting is a such a great opportunity to practice your coaching skills… and realise that you don’t have all the answers…

Michx